Disrespecting Parents
عقوق الوالدينDisobeying, insulting, or mistreating one's parents
Qur'an
القرآن الكريموَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
Translation: Saheeh International
وَالَّذِي قَالَ لِوَالِدَيْهِ أُفٍّ لَّكُمَا أَتَعِدَانِنِي أَنْ أُخْرَجَ وَقَدْ خَلَتِ الْقُرُونُ مِن قَبْلِي وَهُمَا يَسْتَغِيثَانِ اللَّهَ وَيْلَكَ آمِنْ إِنَّ وَعْدَ اللَّهِ حَقٌّ فَيَقُولُ مَا هَٰذَا إِلَّا أَسَاطِيرُ الْأَوَّلِينَ
But one who says to his parents, "Uff to you; do you promise me that I will be brought forth [from the earth] when generations before me have already passed on [into oblivion]?" while they call to Allah for help [and to their son], "Woe to you! Believe! Indeed, the promise of Allah is truth." But he says, "This is not but legends of the former peoples" -
Translation: Saheeh International
Hadith
الحديث النبويعَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم " إِنَّ مِنْ أَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ أَنْ يَلْعَنَ الرَّجُلُ وَالِدَيْهِ ". قِيلَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَكَيْفَ يَلْعَنُ الرَّجُلُ وَالِدَيْهِ قَالَ " يَسُبُّ الرَّجُلُ أَبَا الرَّجُلِ، فَيَسُبُّ أَبَاهُ، وَيَسُبُّ أُمَّهُ ".
Abdullah ibn Amr reported:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, among the major sins is that a man curses his own parents.” It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, how can a man curse his own parents?” The Prophet said, “He insults the father of another man, and then that man insults his father and his mother.”
عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ بَابَانِ مُعَجَّلَانِ عُقُوبَتُهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا الْبَغْيُ وَالْعُقُوقُ
Anas reported:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Two deeds are quickly punished in the world: transgression and disrespect to parents.”
عَنْ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " أَلاَ أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ ". ثَلاَثًا. قَالُوا بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ " الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ ". وَجَلَسَ وَكَانَ مُتَّكِئًا فَقَالَ " أَلاَ وَقَوْلُ الزُّورِ ". فَمَا زَالَ يُكَرِّرُهَا حَتَّى قُلْنَا لَيْتَهُ سَكَتَ
Narrated Abu Bakra:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said thrice, "Should I inform you of the greatest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger!" He said, "To join others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." The Prophet then sat up after he had been reclining and said, "And I warn you against giving false witness," and he kept repeating it until we thought he would not stop.
عَنْ أَبِي الطُّفَيْلِ قَالَ سُئِلَ عَلِيٌّ أَخَصَّكُمْ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِشَىْءٍ فَقَالَ مَا خَصَّنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِشَىْءٍ لَمْ يَعُمَّ بِهِ النَّاسَ كَافَّةً إِلاَّ مَا كَانَ فِي قِرَابِ سَيْفِي هَذَا فَأَخْرَجَ صَحِيفَةً مَكْتُوبٌ فِيهَا " لَعَنَ اللَّهُ مَنْ ذَبَحَ لِغَيْرِ اللَّهِ وَلَعَنَ اللَّهُ مَنْ سَرَقَ مَنَارَ الأَرْضِ وَلَعَنَ اللَّهُ مَنْ لَعَنَ وَالِدَهُ وَلَعَنَ اللَّهُ مَنْ آوَى مُحْدِثًا ".
Abu't-Tufayl reported that 'Ali was asked whether the Prophet (ﷺ) had given him anything special. 'Ali produced the written document kept in his sword sheath, which included: "Allah curses anyone who sacrifices for other than Allah; Allah curses anyone who alters or steals the boundary markers of the land; Allah curses anyone who curses his parents; and Allah curses anyone who gives shelter to an innovator."
عَنْ عِمْرَانَ بْنِ حُصَيْنٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: مَا تَقُولُونَ فِي الزِّنَا وَشُرْبِ الْخَمْرِ وَالسَّرِقَةِ؟ قُلْنَا: اللَّهُ وَرَسُولُهُ أَعْلَمُ قَالَ: هُنَّ الْفَوَاحِشُ وَفِيهِنَّ الْعُقُوبَةُ أَلاَ أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الْكَبَائِرِ؟ الشِّرْكُ بِاللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَعُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَكَانَ مُتَّكِئًا فَاحْتَفَزَ قَالَ: وَالزُّورُ
'Imran ibn Husayn said that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "What do you say about fornication, drinking wine and theft?" We replied, "Allah and His Messenger know best." He said, "They are acts of outrage and there is punishment for them, but shall I tell you which is the greatest of the great wrong actions? Associating with Allah Almighty and disobeying parents." He had been reclining, but then he sat up and said, "And lying."
عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ عَنْ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لَا يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ عَاقٌّ وَلَا مُؤْمِنٌ بِسِحْرٍ وَلَا مُدْمِنُ خَمْرٍ وَلَا مُكَذِّبٌ بِقَدَرٍ
Abu Darda reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The one who disobeys his parents will not enter Paradise, nor one who has faith in magic, nor the stubborn drunkard, nor one who denies providence.”
عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ مُرَّةَ الْجُهَنِيِّ أَنَّ رَجُلًا جَاءَ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ شَهِدْتُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَأَنَّكَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ وَصَلَّيْتُ الْخَمْسَ وَأَدَّيْتُ زَكَاةَ مَالِي وَصُمْتُ شَهْرَ رَمَضَانَ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَنْ مَاتَ عَلَى هَذَا كَانَ مَعَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ هَكَذَا وَنَصَبَ أُصْبُعَيْهِ مَا لَمْ يَعُقَّ وَالِدَيْهِ
'Amr bin Murrah Al-Juhani reported that a man said, "O Messenger of Allah! If I pray the five prayers, fast Ramadan, give the Zakah, and perform the obligations, what will happen with me?" He said, "Whoever dies upon this will be with the Prophets, the Truthful and the Martyrs on the Day of Resurrection, as long as he does not disrespect his parents."
Statements of the Salaf
أقوال السلفرِضَا الرَّبِّ فِي رِضَا الْوَالِدِ وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِي سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ
'Abdullah ibn 'Umar said, "The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent."
Source: al-Bukhārī, Al-Adab al-Mufrad 2